For the past few days I’ve been feeling a little meh.
A little sad and a bit lost too.
Not much excitement or happiness going on like usual.
In the past I’d make myself wrong for feeling this way, I’d think there was something wrong with me, ‘try’ to fix myself and beat myself up for not being my usual self.
Not these days.
I now understand the ebb and flow of life a whole lot more.
And myself for that matter.
This morning (after 3 days of it) I decided that it was time to do something different.
A couple of weeks ago I fell in love with a particular bike. I ummed and ahh’d until I thought feck it and I bought it.
And this morning I was so grateful I did.
I spent a couple of hours first thing writing out my morning pages, watching replays of X-Factor on YouTube for an internal state change, and doing my Transcendental Meditation (remind me to share about that another day).
During my meditation I received an awareness that brought me to tears.
I was letting go of a part of me that I had rejected. I was grieving her. Saddened. And the previous 3 days began to make sense.
What came to me was HAVE MORE FUN TODAY 🎉🎉🎉
Instead of going to the gym I decided to take my bike to my fav beach and cafe for her first ride.
I smiled and laughed the entire way.
Remembering what it was like as a kid to not take life so seriously, to do the things that made me smile, to let go, to enjoy the wind in my hair.
And just like that my smile was back in my heart.
We get to decide how long we spend feeling sad, depressed, anxious, lonely, bored etc...
My Dad instilled in me as I was growing up to FEEL emotion, to get dirty and roll around with it... for what we resist persists right!?
EVERYTHING we do in our lives is our CHOICE.
Sometimes we just need a little reminder of that.
Wish me well on my uphill ride home 😝
Big love amazing humans